Tuesday, October 23, 2007

South Indians - By a North Indian

I got this as a forward few weeks ago(see below). Just shocked and suprised to read this.
Anyway, this clearly proves the attitude of majority of people in the North. Obviously, people from South will have similar points. My intention was not to start flaming war, but to the reveal the differences and attitude of fellow Indians.

We make fun of our own country men and blindly follow the path of westerners. That's why I couln't find a Indian outside India. All I can find is a Punjabi, Tamilian, Gujju, Gulti..

These type of comments upsets me. Anyway, I am just another fellow citizen who believes that we will stay united inspite of all the differences. After all, it is all these cultural differences that makes India unique.

Description about South Indians(Must be written by a North Indian):

1. Keep long names. Names should be of atleast 4 words and each word should be atleast 10 characters long. Afterall, the longer the name, lesser the probability of sharing it with someone!! If words fall short add "an" in the end e.g. swaminathan, gopinathan, karthikeyan etc etc.

2. Add fathers name, grandfathers name, village name, street name whatever to identify you, afterall you dont have any identity of your own.

3. Use "H" after every "T" and "D" in all nouns, but dont pronouce the "H".

4. Make decoration outside your house with WHITE chalk, and call it RANGoli !!!

5. Wear lungis and fold them upwards to reveal your magnificient legs

6. Wear the most old fashioned and dull shirt (light brown and dirty cream is the way to go) match it with a brown trouser (if office ppl dont allow lungis of course) match it with equally dull sandals (wearing shoes is prohibited by culture), dont tuck in the shirt and walk taking short steps and shaking your butt. Give every impression that you are a homo (half of you actually are)

7. Wear a 100 rupee shirt, compare it with a 1000 rupee shirt and argue "whats the difference"

8. After taking bath apply lots of sandal wood paste on your head, after all its a bit lighter than your skin color. also apply it on the neck, chest arms and wherever possible.

9. Mix rice with curd, add salt to it. Eat it with lemon achaar and call it a delicacy.

10. Mix a few grains of daal, oops "dhaal" (read point 3) into a litre of water and call it sambhar.

11. Remove a few grains of "dhaal" from the sambhar and call it rayasam.

12. Remove the entire butter from the lassi and call it "butter milk".

13. Make sabzi mixed with coconut, cook it in coconut oil, add coconut to thicken the gravy, garnish it with dry coconut and eat with "parotas" alongwith coconut chutney! wait you are eligible to do that only if you have applied coconut oil to your head.

14. Make the smallest house on the smallest site possible and raise it to 3-4 storeys and put them on rent or better still make a PG.

15. Make houses so close to each other so that sunlight and fresh air doesnt get inside and humidity and stink doesnt get outside. 16. Make the smallest possible toilet in one corner and isolate it from the rest of the world by having no outlets for the gases and foul odor to keep the environment clean!

17. Have no flush in the toilets to save water!

18. Do engineering after your school. After all your father, mother, brother, sister, grandfather, uncle are engineers.

19. Bastardise the english oops yenglish language. Mind your "YEMs" and "YOs". Make atleast 10 grammatical mistakes in each sentence. After all its not your mother tongue, you "didnt learnED" it in school and so "cannot able" to speak properly.

20. If you somehow by mistake construct a proper yenglish sentence, scramble the words and leave it to the zig-saw solving abilities of the non south-indians to figure it out.

21. Hate people from any other part of the world, especially north-indians as they make you realize your miserable lifestyle by having a extravagent lifestyle.

22. Wash your feet in the bathroom before eating. Wash hands at the place where you eat and throw water on the floor, to prove that you are not dirty!

23. Screw up things and exclaim "aiyoooo thuuuu"